Conquering Fear Through Canyoneering

A part of me died and was buried yesterday on a canyoneering route dubbed “Broken Spirit.” I was so far beyond my comfort zone and tapped in to a heightened level of fear I didn't know I possessed I now have post traumatic wisdom and an extended benchmark to measure moments of fear against. I’ve been canyoneering for a couple years now, & have anchored off of wild things like a small pile of rocks (cairns), “trees” that resemble baby sprouting twigs, my friends (meat anchors) & even my Jeep. While those all gave me thrill, I wasn’t overtaken by fear like yesterday & felt the physical need to🤮 or 😭 (neither happened but the sensation was so real). Yesterday’s challenge wasn’t the anchor type, or the height. It was the awkward starts & transitions (not pictured due to danger). Each of the starts on these 5 raps were so uncomfortable and fear inducing you had to have full trust in yourself, equipment, skills etc. and haul yourself face first off a cliff face rather than descend backwards with your weight loaded on the device as you normally do. The first rap began on a ledge (of sandstone which can break over time), with a 150 ft free hang to launch into. From there it got worse. In order to transition into the next rapp, you had to descend on to a ledge below, personal anchor into the cliffside, & hang another 150 ft up while you unloaded and reloaded your device for the next rapp with only enough space for the tops of your toes to rest on on the face of a cliff (no pictures, ⚠️ ⛔️ 🪢 ). I adopted the mantra “the only way out is through” extended my fear zone tolerance, grew in gratitude for my friends and my trust in them, and had the realization that nothing I am afraid of in life will induce that kind of terror in me, so now I want to dive head first into everything that is normally scary because noting will hit quite like that. Fear is a bitch, but when used correctly, you can harness her into giving you the guts and confidence to send it at anything you want in life. I came away from yesterday with a drive to deepen my canyoneering goals and tackle some audacious professional goals. Make fear your friend. If I can, so can you!